I am a veteran and a woman. I loved my job during active duty for over the eight years I served in the Army. I scoffed at the idea during my initial training in Fort Lee, VA., when told by a female cadre, that if I wanted to make the military a career -- never have children. I was married and we did not have children until 8 years into my supply logistics career. I reluctantly left the service when little support was available for adequate childcare in my overseas assignment. I was stationed in Weisbaden, Germany at the time. My command did their best to ease the adjustment of motherhood and soldiering. I was an E-5(P) supply sergeant for 142d S&S Bn, 29th S&S Co. However, the undercurrent and common attitude held at that time was that if "Uncle Sam" wanted a soldier to have a family, it would have been issued to you.
I could not put the quality of life of my daughter above my choice to be a soldier. However, it was a difficult choice and one I struggled with. There has to be better system in place. I was on track for BNOC and then to be assigned as a Drill Sergeant, when I became pregnant and that had to be cancelled.
Why accept females in the military if not all aspects of their needs can be met? I understand that defending our country is paramount and being ready at a moment’s notice to move-out is necessary. I had no problems with that. I have a problem with non-existent childcare providers, especially if both parents work or are on active duty.
My spouse had power of attorney if I had been sent into a combat theater. That was not the problem. The problem I discovered is performing the day-to-day operations in garrison while training for upcoming missions. There has to be a better way to evaluate how to support military families if those families are to accompany active duty military members on assignments not in a combat arena.
Comments (4)
While I can understand your irritation, it seems very much to me like you want to have your cake and eat it, too.
There are military situations where failure is not an option. There are military situations where anything less than 100% commitment gets you killed, and situations where even 110% commitment does not guarantee success. As a result of this, the military must, and should be, very careful regarding anything that reduces that commitment level.
Life is full of compromise, often bad ones at that. Having a baby is a HUGE commitment; so is being in the military. You cannot reasonably expect to be able to do them both at the same level that you could do them in isolation.
I'm not voting this down, as I might be interpreting your post poorly; but I wouldn't vote it up either.
While in the Military I would recommend you put off having childern until you get out, as an old 1SGT retired I know the hardships you will have trying to raise childern and at the same time do your duty. I also know tha burden you place on your unit. But this I come from the Army as you said " If Uncle Sam" wanted a soldier to have a family, it would have been issued to you".
Soda,
I understand the level commitment, but life sometimes just happens. I also know everyone’s situation is very individual. However, a whole slew of questions also come to mind. Women after a certain age cannot have children. It is a choice that is only unique to women. Men have children and usually stay on active duty. Does that mean they have their cake and eat it too? I stated that I had power of attorney given to my spouse in lieu of being assigned to a war zone. My issue is with the low number of on base day care available to active duty personnel. They are already in place, just not enough because of the low priority. I am not asking for something that is not already in place. I am asking for an improvement.
1st SGT Haverty,
I respect your position and but dealing with the myriad of personnel issues at any given day in any active duty unit is challenging. DWIs, sickness, Family Emergency leaves, etc. Females have needs different from men and if they are to be accepted in the military, those needs should be considered. And they have been because there is already available to military families the use of on-base child care. I am just asking for an improvement in its availability. I am not asking for anything new.
Your experience and years of wisdom in military operations is priceless and I thank you for your time in commenting --